Mental Health needs a range of supports as individual as we are

Mental Health needs a range of supports as individual as we are

By Shine Ambassador Lucie Kavanagh

I have been a bit stuck when it comes to writing a piece for Green Ribbon Month. Last night I realised that the block was mostly because anything I wanted to say didn’t sound “positive”.  Isn’t that silly?  A campaign to start conversations about mental health and I am worrying about not sounding positive. Is it because it’s relatively new to us as a society to talk openly on this topic? Is there a fear of scaring people if we get too real?  

It’s wonderful to see people wearing green and displaying their ribbons at the many events throughout the month.  But the people who are struggling are probably not at these events. The people who are struggling are not only in the bigger towns and cities, where the majority of supports and groups are.  Some of them are in small rural communities where they are terrified of stigma and losing jobs, friends or family.  Some of them are alone. Some of them are trying to find the words so that they can talk to their GP.  Some of them don’t know who is going to listen, have maybe already tried to reach out, and are debating whether another try is worth it. Some of them are already sitting in waiting rooms, surgeries, A&E departments and mental health clinics and still don’t feel heard.

If I was to tell you my entire mental health history, it would need a lot of trigger warnings. It’s not inspiring.  I can’t find a way to make it positive and glossy.  There’s no recovery story here. But there is a story.  I am still here to tell it. For me, that’s the part to focus on.

The main reason I have decided to write this is because of the horrible mismatch that’s going on around me.  There’s the celebration of Mental Health Month, the Green Ribbon campaign, the posts about reaching out, the social media support and the overall feel of awareness. But at the same time, there is so much loss to suicide, so much pain and loss. Something is getting lost in translation.

Is it the space between the “reach out” messages and the reality?  I reached out. I disclosed past experiences and present difficulties.  As a result, I was diagnosed with a highly stigmatised illness. I was told that my personality was disordered and was sent from doctor to doctor, misdiagnosed, not heard, sent home in crisis situations, lost my career, nearly my home, nearly myself. Yet, the need to disclose was powerful. The distress was the prevalent thing in my life and hiding it was taking more energy than I had. Yet, in all of that, there were people who reached in.  People who listened and made me feel that I wasn’t the horrible, evil person that I assumed I had become.  There were people who encouraged me to keep trying and to keep talking. In all the doctors who didn’t listen, there were one or two who really heard me.

Not only listening to someone but hearing them is one of the greatest medicines there is. No one should ever feel that their story is “too much”.

I am only one person, but I have heard so many stories with parallels to my own.

In my worst time, the Green Ribbon Campaign gave me a huge amount of hope. Reading and listening to the experiences of my fellow Shine Ambassadors gave me language to put on some of my experiences and gave a platform to share stories and normalise the reality of navigating life with brains that sometimes let us down.  

But we are in danger of stagnating at the “conversation” stage. It’s a springboard from which great things can happen but only if there’s movement beyond it.

It’s not good enough that the mental health services are not safe places for so many of us, that we attend appointments in services that are not trauma informed (though there is more Trauma Informed Practice training being delivered), that operate on a revolving door of doctors so that our stories never progress beyond a certain point. It’s not good enough that when in crisis we sit in A&E departments where they don’t know what to do with us and haven’t the manpower to do anything anyway.  It’s not enough that many small rural communities don’t get to be part of many of the campaigns and extra supports because of where they are located. It’s not good enough that we pay huge amounts of money to get beyond the many misdiagnoses to the therapies that really help and the diagnosis that are true to us and help us, not only to function, but to know that our way of functioning is ok, that we are fundamentally ok.

Mental health is, as physical health, something that needs a range of supports that are as individual as we all are.  There is no “one size fits all”.

This hasn’t been a positive piece but somehow the positivity is there.  It’s in the strength that people have, to keep trying, to keep talking and to keep forging ahead, for themselves, for their loved ones and for their community.  It’s in the wearing of the green ribbons and the hope that they communicate solidarity to someone who is struggling.  It’s in the dragging ourselves into a therapy session, or changing a prescription, or getting dressed when every part of us is begging to hide from the world. It’s in seeing the trigger warning but deciding to read anyway.

Please wear the ribbon and have the conversations.  But remember, September is only one month and there’s a lot of differences still to make.

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